Definition #1 (though I know I won't remember what I'm up to when I go to post subsequent ones)

Religion n. The contagious dispersion of specially designed unfounded beliefs throughout a population who would otherwise be indifferent; beliefs spread in this manner.

One should need a license to practice religion. /* Wow, that was a "should I use a c or an s?"-fest right there. I just went with what Firefox said. 2.0 FTW. */ Certified objective interest should be required. Otherwise you're just some commonfolk who has no business with this shit, looking for something to believe. Go and read a book. Buy something off trademe. Religion is for philosophers and the like, selling it to unsuspecting stupid people is just preying on their stupidity - if you left them alone they would never have wondered anything; they don't care or understand, most of them are faggots who fuck everybody anyway, then tell you some shit about jesus. Some retard tells me shit about your jesus. Success. I had a point, but I lost it.